How to get a second date! A quick guide to winning a first date!

Your hands may be sweaty and you may blank out on conversation topics — just take a deep breath, this is only the first date. I always say to my friends keep the first date short you can and are allowed to meet the person even for just one hour long on the first date

1)  Looks

Its all about the first impression on a first date unfortunately as they say first impressions really do count when you first meet someone. Here are a few hints and tips for both men and women

And although you should never judge a book by its cover, Whitmore says people will make judgement calls about your character and personality based on your initial encounter.

Girls – Don’t look like you are trying too hard but also make enough effort  men will find it attractive if you  look effortlessly good so keep the makeup natural.

Ladies here are some examples of some effortless looks for a first date the last photo is more for an evening date but they are all sending out the correct signals to that guy you like!

Guys – You should do your hair wear a smart yet casual top and the shoes will be judged so make sure they are not looking scruffy, oh yeah and smell good!

Guys this is also a smart casual look that makes a good first impression I have included the hat and trainers look to show you can make the casual look trendy and smart ( cool)

2) Good Time Keeping

When you show up on time it highlights that you are responsible and makes a good first impression, however being early is a bit too keen remember this is not a job interview it’s a date so be on time but don’t linger around early or you may look desperate.

3) Do some research before you actually go to meet them find out what is happening in the news look into the other person’s job , hobbies and family life so that you have good substantial stuff to talk about. They may ask you what you think about x news topic and you want to look prepared!

4) Have a story in the back of your mind you can tell them make it funny and something that happened recently to warm up the conversation. It is always good to have these ready incase there are some silent moments of awkwardness

5) Offer to get a drink both people should get a drink each on the first date otherwise he / she will be telling their friends you were a bit tight trust me! I hear this all the time even if the guy is generous. Also don’t get drunk on your first date you may live to regret this even if you need some courage! NO NO!

6)Huffington post says …

A good conversation is like a tennis match. It only works when you hit the ball in the other person’s court,” Whitmore says. Try to focus more on your date and less on yourself —you’ll impress your date if you show you’re fully engaged, listen, and ask pertinent questions, she adds. This type of attentive listening builds trust and almost always guarantees a second date.

7) don’t mention the Ex or getting divorced or anything negative on the first date otherwise he will think you are so not over it!

8) Focus on the positives of life not how bad your job is or how bad the weather is but be positive and happy. Remember not to be fake I hate those girls that come across too friendly or too nice be natural!

9) End the date gracefully even if you don’t want to see them again be nice and tell them the things you enjoyed with them.  Don’t mention meeting again word it like look forward to catching up soon or let’s talk soon take care !

DD XOXOX

 

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She is just after his money not love!

So it’s a little controversial topic but actually happening more often than you think where the women is just into the guy based on how much money they have and not that she is interested in finding love.

So, if a woman loves you for who you are, she’ll want to spend time with you whether you’re footing the bill or not. If she can list off every meal you’ve bought her and everything you’ve purchased for the last month, but doesn’t give a damn when you invite her to a homey get-together with the fam, you may have a gold digger on your hands.

Here are the tell tell signs up front!

1.She never pays for dinner

So the first dinner I agree should be on the man this is the tradition and men get your pennies out on the first date. However if you see she never offers to take you for dinner or pay this is a clear signal that she is after your money. For some reason the dinner scenario is a very good example and test to see if she just enjoys being taken out or if she is willing to pay her way.

2. She loves going shopping but happily takes the gifts

She is always happy for you to pay for gifts even if you offer, she never says no, she just stands back and takes takes takes each time without putting her hand into her pocket. I would take this as a warning sign.

3. Children are old enough but she has made no attempt to work

The kids are old enough and spend most of their time at school and she has still made no attempt to find a part time job or bring in any money. She may have lost her confidence and is scared to work but she should get back to work once the kids are old enough to go to school.  Personally I think that you should want to get back to work or earn some money so help contribute to the family even if it’s working from home based jobs.

4. She gets in a temper if you don’t get her what she wants

She starts to get upset and angry with you if you don’t get her what she wants as far as gifts go or posh enough dinners when she is not contributing to it at all. Beggars cannot be choosers!

5. You just have that feeling ..

You just think that she likes you because of money – better to face it sooner than later before she leaves you once you have no money left?? Confront her and see how that goes if she is not after money she won’t get that upset.

6. She is willing to put up with anything for the money

She seems like the ideal woman, happy to clean, cook and be domesticated so you look past the fact that she is only doing it for money! Being unequal can cause issues so really think about this before you become involved.

Get the courage to see through the gold digger!

Dear love ….ps I love you

Dear love

I wasn’t a strong believer in love before I met you, perhaps it’s because I have never been in love before. Love to me is special, meaningful and means the world to me. However it’s difficult and takes hard work and care maybe even nurturing so it grows and stays happy.
Meeting the one you love only happens one in a million times, by this I mean someone you care unconditionally for and connect with in so many levels.

It’s fear that made us argue and the unknown that made me snap at you. I know now that you are the best part of me and I’m the best part of you and together we are at our best.

Love makes you weak as when you are apart you become half a person, half a heart and half of happiness. Together we can achieve so much and I believe we can change the world in our own way.

I think we met and we became best friends. Our friendship turned into unconditional love and then one day we got married.
I’m creative and messy and life is one big ball of hecticness. Without you I’d be at parties and probably would have met someone boring.

You’re organised, loving and your heart is made of gold. You love my cooking, food makes you very happy.
Now we get ready to become parents and we can make our mistakes together in harmony. Love is enough for us. Our children will be the best part of us I hope. Let’s hold hands and skip towards our next journey.

Nobody is perfect – How to get over the rebound stage!

Its hard not to be on the rebound months or even years after a relationship and I say this with caution. It’s all about comparing the new person with the last person and really accepting that no person is perfect. You will find one thing that is certain and that is the fact that is that people are different and their qualities are different.

Its hard not to compare people with each other because this is how the human brain works and its natural to do this. Accepting the choices you made and the reasons why you made them is really important as you know that the one you picked it deep down the best one for you.

Forgetting the past is hard and its easy for girlfriends to tell you just get over him he was a *&%&^… well the bad news is that it’s a long journey to truly move  on and if anyone disagrees then they never had anything to lose. It’s difficult as you lose a friend or perhaps a fatherly figure. If you wonder why it still hurts be honest with yourself and move on when you are ready.

My best advise to you is learning to forget the past is not always the best way but learning from it is much better and understanding why you liked that person will help you to move on!

Now

17 online dates Date Two! POF Plenty of FIsh.com

Thanks to my friend who tried 17 online dating sites and 17 dates! She did not want to be named!

So it’s becoming much easier to meet new people now I have tried on-line dating for the second time. We start to go through the same route; message a little, then send some text messages and we meet ( it’s all becoming more normal)

Second site and its Plenty Of Fish .. This site looks cheap like its been knocked up in the garage by some kid on a weekend. However its easy to use and more importantly its FREE! I think that this was the first free site that started up and it became much bigger than expected.

First Impressions of POF

• It’s easy to use and user-friendly but looks cheap and I think it attracts stranger people than Match
• Its seems less sophisticated than Match.com and really has an edge of desperation
• However I managed to get a date so lets see what happens next

The Date

I managed to get a date with a surgeon who told me he liked cake, when we met up he seemed nice he had a flashy car and was good on paper so far… so good… Immediately after talking for a while I found out he was moving to Manchester soon so why did he want to date me in London. Anyway we had a drink and there was no spark! I hate to say it but so far the Match.com date was better even though he was not my ideal man! This site seemed to attract a different class of male yet was Free! This was not for me TW – Time wasters

Next!

Get over it! .. How hard is it to get over someone? …..

Breaking up with someone can be hard but if you are no longer in love with a person how can it still be so hard to get over them!?

• You find yourself sad as you miss the person as a friend even if you don’t love them anymore
• You are mourning the loss of the loss of the actual relationship perhaps and not that person
• You now find yourself walking alone and seeing people in couples makes you feel sad
• They got over you so fast and that leaves you feeling lost, even though you don’t even like them
• He is just not that into you – you miss the loss to your ego!

How can they just get over you?

• People just change and you now no longer fit into their life they actually de- BFF you and forgot you
• They just don’t care anymore you are no longer a part of their life
• What makes you think that they should care like you do?
• You are bad for them and they just don’t want something bad for them in their life any more
• Love turns into dust so fast

How can you except this and move on!?

• Don’t expect that people react in the same way – not one answer is applicable for everyone
• Acceptance that you are not important to them – accept they forgot about you
• Put your ego behind you and focus on the future
• why?! maybe there is no reason it’s really simple they moved so maybe its time you do too

17 online dates Date One! Match.com

I found myself single and out on my lonesome so I have decided to become one of those animals that tries online dating for the first time..Thanks to my friend who tried 17 online dating sites and 17 dates! She did not want to be named!

Date one

Site Match.com

Match charges you money so I hoped that the quality of men would be better than any of the free sites, well I hoped.. Here goes…. At first glance the logo is attractive and the site is user-friendly many of the men are attractive and well-educated on their.

Every Time you take a look at a person on the site they know you have seen them I do feel like a bit of a stalker already. I have started to talk to quite a few different guys on the site and  actually I have my first date lined up.

Who is he? 

He is an Oxford graduate not very tall yet he looks cute and well harmless so lets give him ago. We plan to meet at Charlots Bistro in Chiswick for our first date its near my house and actually feels safe. We exchanged numbers and he text me a few random messages about meeting… Feels strange talking to a stranger as I have never been on-line dating before!

We meet for the first time!

I get a drink and wait at the bar feeling a little nervous but I am excited and well my mission to find a man is on I am excited and ready! I work out a plan in my head how the date will go and actually the date goes the complete opposite way. We meet and talk and after loosening up we go and get very drunk together, shots and wine follow…  He invites me in for coffee at the end of the date but I tell him I am off home and he is not getting any “coffee”

End of date one

Great date, Match was a great source of men there were plenty of my type of men on there the ones who seemed normal yet a little middle class and pompous that is just how I like them. It’s easy to use and not too pricey! Worth a try

Will I meet him again!

Yes – But it won’t go anywhere!

7 out of 10 *******